the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
