Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
