I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
