If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
