Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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