Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
