nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
