ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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