Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
