Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
