Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
