they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
