party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
