I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
