I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
