Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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