New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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