plz talk dirty to me
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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