I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
