He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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