There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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