**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sick fucks of a feather flock together
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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