if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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