So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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