STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I could fuck to npr.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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