He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
