We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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