by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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