I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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