I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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