When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
