Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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