The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
