Joe is yelling at the trees again.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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