Screwed.edu
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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