woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
