i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
