My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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