yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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