The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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