No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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