She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
