and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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