Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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