I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
