I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
vagina is talking i cant
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
