i just wanna soil my oats bro
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
