theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
