There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
