No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
