operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
