I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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