You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
